It's been forever since I last posted up on dis, but life's had its little changes here and there that I didn't really feel like postin 'til I had a lot to say. But since I have time, here's wat's been goin on.

1st...My baby's gone to fight the "war" in Iraq. He left in early December and so I had a pretty dismal Christmas & New Year's away from him. He'll be gone for about a year & so, God willing, he'll be back by this Christmas '06. This is his 2nd deployment and he wasn't too happy having to return. I just ask that you all pray for his safe return. This flick was taken the morning he left.....

2nd...I'm still in Washington, living & working. I miss bein in school, but I'm enjoying not having to worry about homeworks, exams, & icky professors. I'm still job huntin for something bigger & better, but so far, nothing good in the Palouse. I'm thinking that it's time for a scene change and I hope to be outta Washington by this summer, maybe as early as May. I've been thinkin a lot about 2 places: Texas & Hawaii. I dunno which to choose yet as I can't do anything financially for either. But God willing, I'll make the best decision with the greatest benefits....

That's all for now...Gotta meeting to hit up..Thanks for tuning in..God bless yall & God speed my baby's return...

~Much ~

Relationships...Our most trying subject for today. So I'm here in the dirrty south visiting my hunnie and it's been about 4 months since we've last seen each other. I had my insecurities because I haven't seen him so long that I felt that he might feel differently (and so would I) after our initial contact. When he finally got off work and came to visit me we spent a lot of time trying to play hug & kiss catch-up. That was Tuesday and today's Sunday and I think I had the most fun with him that first day. Since then, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions and headaches as we've been trying to adjust to each other's presence without annoying the heck outta each other.  Ummm yeah..Too late on that one!  

I love my hunnie, no doubt, but I think the hardest thing for me in this relationship is the fact that he doesn't talk. I would give him the "most quietest" award, hands down! But that's only when he's sober. When he's drunk, he's the liveliest person around and I LOVE hanging out with him cuz we have the coolest conversations & he's more free to express himself. And then when he's sober again it's right back to the same ol' "i don't feel like talkin" routine. And for me that's hard because I'm talkative, sober & drunk! I've been trying hard to get him to open up to me just a lil' bit but he hates when I do that cuz he'd rather just let things be or left unspoken. I dunno..this relationship has been the hardest for me emotionally cuz he leaves me frustrated () most days and other days I feel like we've had the best conversation in the whole wide world.

Maybe it's me..Maybe I talk TOO MUCH. But is it wrong to ask questions when all I'm tryin to do is get to know each other better? Or maybe it's my approach. Maybe I'm too aggressive or too nosey about his past or his thoughts & feelings. But how else should I approach him when we're supposed to be open & honest with each other? Maybe I expect too much because it's my first relationship. I expect so many things from him that I get angry when he doesn't meet them. But is it wrong to want him to want more for his life than just the military, drinkin, smokin, & partyin all day & nite? I dunno..People keep buggin me and ask me when are we gonna get married. I'm like...umm..I'm not ready for that and he is too. But if he is "the one" then this communication thing is either gonna make us or break us.  Hmm..I dunno if I wanna marry a statue. LOL* I'm just kiddin on that one. But for reals, if this is gonna work, he needs to open up a lil' more and not just when he's drunk. Otherwise we're gonna be miserable for the rest of our lives...Damn...

Just Frustrated ...

i know i'm like so fired for not postin in foreva..but hey i've been pretty busy wit job hunting, lu'au practices, and other shiet. and guess what peoplez???  i'm headin down south tomorrow mornin to spend thanksgiving wit my hunnie and some of my rellies, so i hope it's tons of fun.  i've been stuck in pullman for freakin forever that i NEED this vacation. not just to see my babee, but just to regain my sanity. u know wen you've been in a place for TOO long, u start to think that there's nuthin outside of this place. and then u start to get depressed and all these crazy thoughts start runnin thru ur mind...uggh!! i'm glad to be "gettin away" even if it's for a week...or so...lol* this break is my thanksgiving/christmas/new years, all rolled into one, cuz i can't afford to go anywhere else for the latter two. as soon as i get back, it's all work & no play for this chika!  so i guess i better enjoy this vacay and make the best of it while it lasts!!  well yall, gotta go do some laundry & pack..

 tania

thank god its friday! it's been a long week, well actually month and so i've been stressin a lot over stupid sh!3t. our poly club's annual luau is next fridae and people and their stupid drama have been stressin me out.  but anyways, hope all my gurls are doin well and that life's been treatin yall real good. bout to go home & start my weekend. lol*

i'm out ...

its been some time since i last blogged. i was into the whole bloggin thing this summer, and then i just kinda stopped. well, i'm bored and figured i'd just post up on the latest & greatest on me, which really isn't much.

i'm officially graduated! yaaaaayy!! all that hard work & sweat paid off. and now i'm just chillin & enjoyin bein a graduate. i'm still here in pullman workin, livin, breathin, & goin broke on a daily basis. lol* i'm lookin for a staff job cuz my current job doesn't pay enough nor does it provide the benefits that a staff position provides like insurance.   i turned down a staff position last week cuz it was sortin mail. boo to meeh! geez..no challenge there.  the benefits woulda been great & i could've "gotten my foot in the door." i've been gettin hassled from a lotta people at work for not acceptin the job and that phrase has been used like 20 times within one day. geez people.. i feel dat i woulda "gotten my foot in the WRONG door." i'm a people person and i can't sit at a computer for 8 hours straight doin computer entries. i woulda been so bored & so angry too!

but anyways, i'm waiting on 2 other depts to get back to me on whether they think i'm "THE ONE" or not. i hope i get one or the other cuz i really need $$$.  lol* i'm really liking these icons. abuse! anyways, i really wanted to go to samoa for christmas, but unfortunately i can't afford it and if i got a staff job, there's no guarantee that i woulda gotten time off to go visit family. my parents were kinda sad when i told them. they were so hopin i'd come and spend christmas again wit them like i used to. me too!!  i promised them next summer which i will most definitely try to get the month of july off. *fingers crossed*   

as for me & aleki, things are as good as they can be. long-distance relationships are tough and we've had a few so-called "arguments" over "stuff".  lol* it sucks that we have differing views on the "future" and other things. i'm the type who plans ahead for things. like by next year, i hope to know where i'm gonna be and what i "hopefully" will be doin. as for him, he takes things one day at a time and can only plan so far in advance cuz of the army. and wit him goin to iraq, it's even harder to "plan" things. he sucks!   lol* but i'm hopin that wit me bein the oh-so-patient person that i am, that it'll pay off in the long-run. *hint hint* lmao...umm yeah..well, i could keep typin, but i'm writin a novel. so im gonna stop here and keep yall wantin more..lol*

Luv meeh